I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
