im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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