Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
