sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
