you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
