great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
