He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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