I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
