That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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