the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
