Kiss
Puke
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
