Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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