Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
