so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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