dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
