OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
