The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
