If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
