the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
