Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
