she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
