Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
