this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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