I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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