She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize