I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
It's just like the Real World with babies
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
