xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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