ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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