I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
