Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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