yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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