Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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