i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize