In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
