We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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