What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
cat food counts as protein by the way
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
