I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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