i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Your mouth is God's brothel.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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