He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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