remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
