i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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