I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
