How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
