ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize