I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
