I must be too annoying 4 u.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize