Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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