Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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