I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
