no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
