my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
