Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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