Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
