She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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