you didnt know i had herpes?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
