Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She even gives head with a lisp.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
