this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
