I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
