i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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