I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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