So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
