we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
