If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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