She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
there is glitter all over my balls
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
