the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
