20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
