I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
