I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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