Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
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