Hey man sorry I got all grabby
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
