The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
