In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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