yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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