and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
