I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
